A quick update on eharmony. Of the many guys I sent questions to, four of them actually replied and sent questions of their own.
With two of them I responded to their questions straight away as I liked their answers. One of them I closed immediately as his answer to my question about the need for time for personal reflection in a relationship was the one which said he basically doesn't need any. I may have no relationship experience, but I know how I am in my friendships and in how I interact with people generally and I do need time to myself and I think I would feel suffocated if I spent every minute of every day outside work with one other person.
As for the 4th guy, I have just sent my answers to him after debating for a while over what to do. His personal reflection answer was also erring on the side of not needing much, but slightly less so that the first guy. I like his profile more so have carried on communicating. I couldn't give up completely on having personal time to myself, but I could compromise a little for someone who was right in other ways, and I hope the right person for me could do the same.
Of the first two matches who I have sent responses to, I have exchanged Must haves and can't stands with both of them, and one (I'll call him the Younger Man, because he is indeed younger than me) has sent open ended questions.
A few guys have sent me questions and ice breakers but I haven't found any of them particularly interesting or attractive. At least some of the ones I'm interested in seem to be interested back, which does give me some confidence that I come across as someone worth getting to know.
4 comments:
i'm going through the same thing with the dating site. Now that I read your post , I think that in my communications I should've used that question about personal reflection, it would be very useful to know, me being a "I need considerable time for personal reflection" type of girl ^_^
Yep, I find that question really useful. I sometimes change some of my other questions if the guy has sort of already answered them in his profile, but I always leave that one in.
Yay! I'm glad it's working out for you. I find the question aspect of eharmony particularly interesting- it just seems like you get all that stuff out of the way so far. If you meet a guy in real life, you're usually discussing beer, sports teams and where they work/go to school. The important stuff is left for you to interpret in the next little while.
It just seems to convenient. I bet if we compared RL people and online dating people (i.e. compared all initial pairings), fewer relationships in the online dating bracket would fizzle out as easily. You deal with it in the beginning and don't need to spent too much time hunting for a potential fit.
It's funny how discerning we become when looking through online profiles. Suddenly, things like how often someone drinks alcohol and whether they enjoy cooking can determine whether we message back or not... Whereas I guess in 'real life' it wouldn't seem so important? I don't know. Anyway, I'm glad it's going ok, keep us updated!
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