I am still communicating with Scarf Guy. I sent him some questions which required free text answers, rather than multiple choice, and he has answered them and sent his own back. He still sounds an interesting person, with some likes in common with me (e.g. travel) and others which I don't do often but enjoy when I do (e.g. walking in the countryside). He generally seems to have a similar outlook on life to me.
Slightly excitingly, someone actually started communication with me. He sent me a wink as an "ice-breaker", I sent him back a message saying let's communicate, so he sent me some questions. He looks physically more like the kind of guy I usually find attractive and I was more keen on him than Scarf Guy until I got back his answers to my first lot of questions.
One of them I sent was "how do you feel about your partner having friends of the opposite sex?". His answer was the most negative of the 4 choices, that he would feel uncomfortable with his partner having friends of the opposite sex. This was not a great answer from my point of view. I do have male friends. A couple of them I am pretty close to and see fairly often. The others I see less often, but I enjoy their company and have fun with them.
I don't think I would be particularly happy in a relationship with someone who felt uncomfortable with my friendships. I would make me feel uneasy about seeing my friends, knowing that my partner didn't like it, and I would worry about being pressured to give them up. And I am not giving up my friends for anything. They're my friends, I love them and they're part of what makes me me.
3 comments:
i think it's tough to find that "perfect" fit. where you like his personality and have things in common and also find him physically attractive. that said, i'm glad that you're still communicating with scarf guy. i would say not to rule him out as yet 'coz sometimes the guy is better looking in real life and there is chemistry.
but i wouldn't rule out the other one either. sure his response to your question might have been less than ideal. but unless it's an absolute dealbreaker for you, i think if everything else seems okay, he might as least deserve a chance to perhaps explain more bout what exactly does he mean regarding his answer and why. all the same i'm glad that online dating seems to be picking up for you!
Your thoughts on scarf guy are pretty much the same as mine. There are a fair few positives about him so I'm going to see how things develop and if he continues to seem interesting enough for me to want to meet him in person I will do.
I have to confess my initial reaction to the second guy's answer about male friends was that it was a deal breaker. I then thought maybe I should give him a chance to explain by carrying in communication, then worried that that might seem like leading him on if I then rejected him as soon as he'd explained, then thought maybe I shouldn't dismiss him too soon as other things about him are promising. I'm being far to indecisive!
Thanks for your thoughts, it's good to get someone else's perspective. I'm erring on the side of carrying on communication as a fixed multiple choice answer doesn't always tell the whole story.
well if other things bout him seems promising and he's cute, then i say carry on communicating :) like you said, a fixed multiple choice answer doesn't always tell the whole story. a open-ended interactive communication would be a better gauge. i'm glad you like my two cents worth :P
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