Just time for a very quick post tonight plus I think I am still shocked over today's happenings. I (and my colleagues) found out earlier that someone I've worked with for a few months died earlier this week. It was a complete shock for everyone and some who had known her for several years were understandably extremely upset. It's been a hard day at work; some of my colleagues went home, those of us who were left mainly sat and stared at our monitors unable to concentrate on anything.
There is more story behind this, and her death, though shocking, may not have been totally unexpected. However I am not sure quite how much detail to go into, as at the moment it feels as if it ought to be kept private and not be broadcast to the world (maybe I'm thinking that out of respect for her family, though they are unlikely to ever read this).
What I will say is that although I didn't know her well, I know she had a good heart. And today puts whatever problems I may have into perspective. RIP.
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
I have and I haven't...
Okay, so I haven't posted for what seems like forever and I don't even have a proper excuse. I haven't been at work till late every day, I haven't been out socialising till midnight every evening, I haven't been on a month long holiday, I've just been plain lazy. I'm still enjoying the novelty of housemates to chat to, of having a communal area to lounge around in and I just haven't been able to summon up the will to blog. I have written various posts in my head over the past couple of months, I just haven't got round to putting them onto paper (or rather laptop hard drive).
Here's a few more haves and haven'ts from the last couple of months:
- I haven't found a boyfriend
- I haven't lost my virginity
- I have started to sign up to e-harmony
- I haven't finished signing up to e-harmony as I got stuck at the part where I was asked for what goals I have/had had in my life. My answer would be available to any of my matches and the length was unlimited. I was a little daunted by this, decided to go back to it later and so far haven't done. I had no idea what sort of goals I should be writing about. I don't see myself as a particularly goal driven person. I would like to be happy. I'd like to be healthy. I want my friends and family to be happy and healthy. I want to have friends I can trust and rely on. I want to do a job which gives me satisfaction and where I feel I make a difference. I want to earn enough to be able live without debt and to be able to take a holiday of two a year. I'd like to see more of the world and experience different cultures and countries. And yes, I'd like to have relationship. Is this enough? Should I have a goal of climbing a mountain, or something else exciting?
- I have been swimming a few times
- I haven't been swimming as much as I want to (again laziness) and need to
- I haven't signed up for any evening classes
- I have sometimes felt quite content
- I haven't felt too stressed in the new job
- I have been on holiday to New York (for the second time)with my friend T
- I have loved being in New York
- I have enjoyed spending time with T, and with Sociable Guy, and E and A who've all been to visit me
- I have been reading blogs even though I haven't been writing, or commenting much
- I have been annoyed with myself for not trying online dating and for not signing up for an evening class
- I haven't socialised with any new people in my new city. I could arrange to go out with my female housemate who is very friendly and easy to get on with, but I think she has very different preferences to me on a night out. She goes clubbing and goes out planning to drink and get drunk. I prefer to go to the pub or out for dinner. I do drink and I do sometimes get drunk but getting drunk is never the main aim. I don't think her male friends would be my type anyway
- I have just finished a work related training course which was useful and fun. I met some interesting women from my company who I may meet up with in future
- I haven't felt particularly sad or upset or distressed about being single
- I have wondered whether this lack of sadness is because I have become numb to my feelings and have just given up because the possiblity of ever meeting anyone seems so remote
- I have looked at many women with their husbands/boyfriends and thought the classic "if she can find someone why on earth can't I?". I don't think I will ever stop doing that
Here's a few more haves and haven'ts from the last couple of months:
- I haven't found a boyfriend
- I haven't lost my virginity
- I have started to sign up to e-harmony
- I haven't finished signing up to e-harmony as I got stuck at the part where I was asked for what goals I have/had had in my life. My answer would be available to any of my matches and the length was unlimited. I was a little daunted by this, decided to go back to it later and so far haven't done. I had no idea what sort of goals I should be writing about. I don't see myself as a particularly goal driven person. I would like to be happy. I'd like to be healthy. I want my friends and family to be happy and healthy. I want to have friends I can trust and rely on. I want to do a job which gives me satisfaction and where I feel I make a difference. I want to earn enough to be able live without debt and to be able to take a holiday of two a year. I'd like to see more of the world and experience different cultures and countries. And yes, I'd like to have relationship. Is this enough? Should I have a goal of climbing a mountain, or something else exciting?
- I have been swimming a few times
- I haven't been swimming as much as I want to (again laziness) and need to
- I haven't signed up for any evening classes
- I have sometimes felt quite content
- I haven't felt too stressed in the new job
- I have been on holiday to New York (for the second time)with my friend T
- I have loved being in New York
- I have enjoyed spending time with T, and with Sociable Guy, and E and A who've all been to visit me
- I have been reading blogs even though I haven't been writing, or commenting much
- I have been annoyed with myself for not trying online dating and for not signing up for an evening class
- I haven't socialised with any new people in my new city. I could arrange to go out with my female housemate who is very friendly and easy to get on with, but I think she has very different preferences to me on a night out. She goes clubbing and goes out planning to drink and get drunk. I prefer to go to the pub or out for dinner. I do drink and I do sometimes get drunk but getting drunk is never the main aim. I don't think her male friends would be my type anyway
- I have just finished a work related training course which was useful and fun. I met some interesting women from my company who I may meet up with in future
- I haven't felt particularly sad or upset or distressed about being single
- I have wondered whether this lack of sadness is because I have become numb to my feelings and have just given up because the possiblity of ever meeting anyone seems so remote
- I have looked at many women with their husbands/boyfriends and thought the classic "if she can find someone why on earth can't I?". I don't think I will ever stop doing that
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