Just a very quick update to say I'm still here but have been far too busy in recent weeks. I've been packing, tying up loose ends in my old job, saying goodbye to friends, moving, unpacking, starting my new job, getting to know my housemates...I'm exhausted and cannot wait for the weekend.
I'm feeling quite positive at the moment. The new job seems to be going okay and I'm feeling fairly confident in it and finding my knowledge is more extensive than I thought. And after much persuasion my friend T went to the doctor and asked for help so I'm hoping things will start getting better for her.
I hope to have time at the weekend for a longer post, though will have to fit it in around more unpacking as I'm still surrounded by boxes. I have thrown so much away yet still seem to have enough to fill 3 houses. Sometimes I wish I was a little more minimalist...
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Friday, 9 January 2009
A good clear out
Today has been a slightly strange day. It was much busier than a normal Friday because I have a lot of things I need to complete at work before I leave. For a lot of the day I was also worrying about my friend T, who I had an email from yesterday. The older guy at her work continues to treat her badly and she‘s not taking it well. She seems to be very depressed, and I think I really need to persuade her to get professional help. I really hope I can talk her into it.
Earlier this evening I was at work a little later than usual, and as I sat alone in the office Chatty Guy walked past, did a double take, then wandered in. I expected him to say hi, ask why I was there so late then disappear, but he sat himself down and we chatted for about 20 minutes. I could’ve kicked myself after he’d left though, because I had an opportunity to spend a bit more time with him and didn’t take it. He’s considering moving into the same complex of flats I live in and said he hadn’t seen the inside of one yet. At that point I should’ve said he was welcome to drop in to mine and take a look, but I didn’t. I thought it, but I stupidly didn’t say it. Maybe I’ll get a chance to do so on Monday.
There’s part of me that wishes that if he isn’t interested he would just stop being quite so friendly. It makes it very difficult for me to tell whether he’s just being friendly or if there’s something more to it. I guess that’s just how society is nowadays though, with men and women often being genuinely just friends, with no expectation of anything else. In the past he might only have approached me if he was interested, but now....who knows who’s interested and who’s not. I have male friends, and he has female friends, so it’s actually normal for us to be as we are with each other.
I spent the rest of the evening sorting through cupboards and throwing things away, or having a good clear out as my family would say. I couldn’t believe the sort of things I’d hoarded. Random birthday and Christmas cards with no particular significance, years old job rejection letters, and all sorts of hand written notes relating to job hunting 11 years ago. I seem to have kept drafts of almost every application letter I ever sent. It was interesting and a little poignant to read them now, to see how I sold myself then, what my hopes were for my future career, what I wanted to do with my life.
My life certainly hasn’t gone the way I hoped it would back then, but there have been interesting times, I’ve learnt a lot, seen some of the world and I’ve made some great friends. There is of course the whole never had boyfriend thing, which I definitely did not expect to still be true all this time later, and which is the aspect of my life I’m most unhappy with. However, the forthcoming new job and home are taking my mind off that at the moment.
A few colleagues at work have made comments about maybe finding myself a man when I move, which I think indicates that I’m seen as the eternally single woman at my workplace. Some people have said change begets change, which I suppose can be true, but I’m not that hopeful. If it hasn’t happened so far in the various places I’ve lived, why would it just because I moved and started a new job? I will though make the effort to put myself out there. I’ll do classes and clubs and generally try to meet people as I won’t know anyone. One advantage I do have is that I am more confident now than I was when I first moved to my current town. I’m still essentially shy, but I can make conversation (sort of) and I’m not scared to walk into a class or club alone.
We shall see.
Earlier this evening I was at work a little later than usual, and as I sat alone in the office Chatty Guy walked past, did a double take, then wandered in. I expected him to say hi, ask why I was there so late then disappear, but he sat himself down and we chatted for about 20 minutes. I could’ve kicked myself after he’d left though, because I had an opportunity to spend a bit more time with him and didn’t take it. He’s considering moving into the same complex of flats I live in and said he hadn’t seen the inside of one yet. At that point I should’ve said he was welcome to drop in to mine and take a look, but I didn’t. I thought it, but I stupidly didn’t say it. Maybe I’ll get a chance to do so on Monday.
There’s part of me that wishes that if he isn’t interested he would just stop being quite so friendly. It makes it very difficult for me to tell whether he’s just being friendly or if there’s something more to it. I guess that’s just how society is nowadays though, with men and women often being genuinely just friends, with no expectation of anything else. In the past he might only have approached me if he was interested, but now....who knows who’s interested and who’s not. I have male friends, and he has female friends, so it’s actually normal for us to be as we are with each other.
I spent the rest of the evening sorting through cupboards and throwing things away, or having a good clear out as my family would say. I couldn’t believe the sort of things I’d hoarded. Random birthday and Christmas cards with no particular significance, years old job rejection letters, and all sorts of hand written notes relating to job hunting 11 years ago. I seem to have kept drafts of almost every application letter I ever sent. It was interesting and a little poignant to read them now, to see how I sold myself then, what my hopes were for my future career, what I wanted to do with my life.
My life certainly hasn’t gone the way I hoped it would back then, but there have been interesting times, I’ve learnt a lot, seen some of the world and I’ve made some great friends. There is of course the whole never had boyfriend thing, which I definitely did not expect to still be true all this time later, and which is the aspect of my life I’m most unhappy with. However, the forthcoming new job and home are taking my mind off that at the moment.
A few colleagues at work have made comments about maybe finding myself a man when I move, which I think indicates that I’m seen as the eternally single woman at my workplace. Some people have said change begets change, which I suppose can be true, but I’m not that hopeful. If it hasn’t happened so far in the various places I’ve lived, why would it just because I moved and started a new job? I will though make the effort to put myself out there. I’ll do classes and clubs and generally try to meet people as I won’t know anyone. One advantage I do have is that I am more confident now than I was when I first moved to my current town. I’m still essentially shy, but I can make conversation (sort of) and I’m not scared to walk into a class or club alone.
We shall see.
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
So much to do
I’ve been a little AWOL from blogging over the past couple of weeks, partly due to travelling for Christmas and New Year, partly due to being busy getting ready to move to my new job and city.
I spent Christmas with my family in another part of the country, and as there were only three of us on the actual day it was a quiet one. Also the family issues which started at the end of last year are ongoing so my dad wasn’t as happy as he could have been. Still, it was good to see them and to visit various other relatives who live in the same area.
New Year was spent with my best friend and her family, again in a different part of the country. As she has two young children New Year’s Eve didn’t involve any partying but it was fun nonetheless, spent at home chatting, drinking wine and playing cards (wow, I really know how to party don’t I?).
I then spent the final couple of days off work looking for a home in my new city. I decided to find a room in a shared house to give me a chance to get to know the various areas of the city before committing to my own place. It also means I will immediately know at least some people, which will hopefully mean I can do a bit of socialising and maybe meet others. I saw a few places, some ok, some that I would have hated to live in (dirty house, awful area of the city), but quite quickly found one I really liked and I have taken it. It’s in a pleasant area, the house feels homely, my room is a good size and my new housemates seem friendly.
I’ll be moving there and starting the new job later this month. I’m really quite excited about moving, especially now I’ve found a home and hope it will be the change I need. I’m also nervous, about moving to a new place where I don’t know anyone and about starting a new job for the first time in a long time.
I spent a lovely evening at the weekend with E and A, who’ve now moved in together. They’ve already said they’ll come and visit me and have invited me to come back here and visit them. I’m very much going to miss them and it will be very strange not seeing them regularly, but I know I’m not going to lose them as friends.
Chatty Guy is still, well, chatty. He made a comment today about getting me drunk at my leaving drinks/dinner, but it sounded like a general “we’ll all get you drunk” so I’m not reading anything into that (or maybe I am or I wouldn’t be writing about it?).
I have a lot of finishing up in my current job, clearing out, packing and saying goodbye to friends to do over the next few weeks, and I think it will probably turn out to be quite an emotional time.
I spent Christmas with my family in another part of the country, and as there were only three of us on the actual day it was a quiet one. Also the family issues which started at the end of last year are ongoing so my dad wasn’t as happy as he could have been. Still, it was good to see them and to visit various other relatives who live in the same area.
New Year was spent with my best friend and her family, again in a different part of the country. As she has two young children New Year’s Eve didn’t involve any partying but it was fun nonetheless, spent at home chatting, drinking wine and playing cards (wow, I really know how to party don’t I?).
I then spent the final couple of days off work looking for a home in my new city. I decided to find a room in a shared house to give me a chance to get to know the various areas of the city before committing to my own place. It also means I will immediately know at least some people, which will hopefully mean I can do a bit of socialising and maybe meet others. I saw a few places, some ok, some that I would have hated to live in (dirty house, awful area of the city), but quite quickly found one I really liked and I have taken it. It’s in a pleasant area, the house feels homely, my room is a good size and my new housemates seem friendly.
I’ll be moving there and starting the new job later this month. I’m really quite excited about moving, especially now I’ve found a home and hope it will be the change I need. I’m also nervous, about moving to a new place where I don’t know anyone and about starting a new job for the first time in a long time.
I spent a lovely evening at the weekend with E and A, who’ve now moved in together. They’ve already said they’ll come and visit me and have invited me to come back here and visit them. I’m very much going to miss them and it will be very strange not seeing them regularly, but I know I’m not going to lose them as friends.
Chatty Guy is still, well, chatty. He made a comment today about getting me drunk at my leaving drinks/dinner, but it sounded like a general “we’ll all get you drunk” so I’m not reading anything into that (or maybe I am or I wouldn’t be writing about it?).
I have a lot of finishing up in my current job, clearing out, packing and saying goodbye to friends to do over the next few weeks, and I think it will probably turn out to be quite an emotional time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)