I got my first proper eharmony response last night but it's left me a bit puzzled. One guy has answered my questions.
Four of the answers made us seem quite similar (he likes time "for his own personal reflection", he is usually early), the fifth less so as it said he doesn't like travel and prefers to stay close to home. And here's me, just booked my second trip to another continent this year. I'm someone who wants to see as much of the world as my budget will allow.
I decided not to reject him just on the basis of one question and went ahead and answered his. One of them asked about a dream holiday destination, and there was the option of writing in your own answer if none of the pre-set ones fitted. I used the opportunity to put in an answer which made clear my love for travel, figuring that if he hated to idea of dating someone who likes to see the world, he could back out. He didn't. He posted his list of must haves and can't stands.
And that is what has got me puzzled. Most of them were pretty normal, such as I can't stand someone who doesn't keep clean and I must have someone who is enjoys the humorous side of life. One however I didn't really understand. It was "I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in their sexual needs". What on earth does that mean??? How can you be traditional in your sexual needs? Does it mean you always let the man initiate sex? Does it mean you don't want sex very often? Does it mean you're not very sexually adventurous? I have no idea. Plus, surely everyone has their own idea of what being reserved in their sexual needs entails.
I should point out that the wording is eharmony's not his, but as he has picked it he must know what he means by reserved and traditional.
Even if I did understand the statement I'm not sure if I know whether I am reserved or not. I have no experience with a partner, and I don't tend to discuss sex with my friends, so can't really compare what I think my needs are with their actual needs to decide whether I am reserved.
The next step is to send off my must haves and can't stands which I haven't done yet. I'm too busy puzzling over this. Part of me is tempted to carry on communicating until we get to open commununication so that I can ask him about it. Is it just me puzzled by this? Does anyone else understand?
4 comments:
that's tough. it could be anything from he wants to wait a while before beginning a sexual relationship to he's not into S&M. but i wouldn't let it deter you from getting to know him more.
You're right, it could mean pretty much anything so I decided I'd carry on trying to get to know him. Unfortunately when I sent him my must haves and can't stands he closed the match because they didn't fit.
oh, that stinks...better luck with the next one.
i find it strange that he would even list anything related to sex this early in the communication. but then again it's a good thing that he didn't say that he wanted someone who was very sexually adventurous.
i would have continued on till you get to the open communication. but perhaps not wanna ask him right off the bat bout that particular must have. but dang he closed your communication. oh well just tell yourself he was probably lousy in bed anyway haha!
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