I've just made the mistake of googling for advice on first dates, and have found all sorts of articles about kissing at the end of the date. I'm sure I will manage to converse with him in some way, I think I can seem interesting, I may even be able to make him laugh, but I have no idea how to kiss and am utterly convinced that if it happens I will screw it up. And therefore I am now dreading the end of the date.
And what's with all the online advice which says that you really must kiss on the first date, and if you don't then it means there was no chemistry, or you don't like each other? Is there something wrong with wanting to spend more than a couple of hours with someone before kissing them?
I hate being a 35 year old woman with the relationship and dating experience of a teenager.
7 comments:
NO! googling for advice on dates is a big no no no.
It only makes you more nervous than anything because you feel that you have to live up to the standard that the internet gives you.
As cliche as it sounds, being yourself is the ultimate goal.
Kissing on the first date isnt a must either--i never heard that one.
Also, from what i heard about kissing, it's something that comes natural once you get into the groove of it.
Nervous for you! Goodluck!
i actually don't think you really do need to kiss on the first date. maybe just go in for a hug and say that you're not comfy with kissing on a first date? i think most guys would be rather respectful of that. and if he dumps you 'coz you didn't kiss him on the first date then he wasn't worth it anyway.
chemistry between people can’t be created or forced, it’s a natural thing. When you feel comfortable with someone, then you have chemistry with him / her. The keyword is “comfortable”. Nice blog katya, I added u in my link, would u add me too. Thanx.
I'm paranoid about kissing too. People say to just relax and let it happen, but at the same time I've heard others complain about "bad kissers" and this just feeds my paranoia. I guess try not to think about it? Otherwise, when the time comes you'll panic even more. Sorry, I know this advice probably wasn't very helpful.. but I'm not sure what else to say as I'm in the same boat as you.
For what it's worth, I think if he really likes you then it won't matter either way whether you kiss on the date or not. I hope you have a good time on the date. :)
I agree with Jo. I don't think you necessarily have to kiss on the first date. I think the first date is a good barometer to assess whether you want to see each other again or not.
If you make it to a second and third date and it's clear you want to continue seeing each other, you'll probably reach a point where you actually want to kiss him or have him kiss you.
But for what it's worth, I'm worried about being considered a bad kisser 'cause I have so little experience with it.
Thanks all! I will be trying my best not to google for dating advice in future. Glad to hear that kissing on a first date doesn't seem to be compulsory.
Tya - paranoid is an excellent way to desribe how I feel about the prospect of kissing someone! I have however heard plenty of people say it just comes naturally, so I think possibly (hopefully!) Debbie is right.
Jo, I am definitely going to keep in mind that if someone dumps me for not kissing on date one (or indeed for any other similar reason), he's not worth it.
And Ecrivain, date one certainly did turn out to be a good way to assess whether I wanted to see him again.
I think the people who say you're supposed to kiss on the first date are often the same people who say you're supposed to sleep together on the third date. ;)
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